Shakespeare could have done no better

Stop me if this story sounds familiar...

ACT I
A young woman of meager means grows up in a tumultuous household, dreaming to one day be well-known and successful. Moving from discouraging job to discouraging job, she eventually becomes performer.

ACT II
She's famous now, beautiful. Desired by all. She meets a rich important man and becomes his wife, much to the dismay of the man's family. The man dies, and disputes arise over his assets. Courts cannot decide the matter, sapping much time and energy.

ACT III
Her performances are worse and worse. She's the laughing stock of the land - constant fodder for the peanut gallery. Her condition is laughable and sad. Out of the limelight, she raises her son although she is desparate to return to stardom. She tries and fails, reaching an all-time low. Struggles for inheritance continue.

ACT IV
Turning things around, she works her way back into public view, still the source of curiosity and ridicule. Her main opponent in the inheritance case dies, bringing new hope. A lover enters the picture, and eventually a daughter. Suddenly her son dies.

ACT V
In a whirlwind, legal troubles mount. Her health and mental state begin to deteriorate, and another man stakes a claim to her daughter's paternity as her wedding to her lover is not binding. She is forced from her home because of financial problems. Under the pressure of everything, she dies, leaving behind a daughter, and two men jockeying for position for the inheritance that she never gained in life...


Seriously, though, how ridiculous is it that CNN.com was soliciting "photos, videos, and memories" from fans like Anna Nicole Smith was some national treasure... an historic figure? I mean, she gets the same treatment as Gerald Ford? Really?

Good night, sweet attention hound. And flights of trailers sing thee to they rest.